Jefferson County Driver Armistice

First of all, I want to apologize in advance to the three Jefferson County Drivers who drive well. You're not the target of today's piece.

Several days ago I had a woman from Rigby call me off the air. She was very nice. We had a pleasant conversation about something forgettable. I only say that because I forgot what we had talked about.

But at the end of the conversation she kindly urged me to stop ridiculing 1J Drivers. She said she felt like I talked about Jefferson County motorists in a mocking tone and it wasn't appreciated, nor did God think it was funny. I've always been curious what kind of sense of humor God has... and now we know.

So, it got me to thinking. Perhaps we should have an armistice. An armistice, as I'm sure you vocabulary nazis out there know, is not a permanent cessation of war. It's just a temporary stoppage. I'll agree to the terms of an Historic Jefferson County Driver Armistice if it goes like this:

"I stop making fun of Jefferson County drivers if they stop driving like crap."

That's fair enough, right?

I may be revealing too much here, but I've been asked by top Jefferson County brass to attend a summit to discuss the armistice. The problem is, one of the sides will have to actually travel to have an armistice summit. Traveling to a summit to discuss dangerous driving is sort of like taking a crack-smoking break at your kid's Dare graduation. It just doesn't seem right.

So, I say both sides should ride bikes to County Line Road and have the historic meeting right then and there. (Crud, that's not going to work, now that I think about it. There will undoubtedly be a 1J cattle truck or something coming along making a roadside armistice summit a potential ground zero of human carnage and last time I checked, we wouldn't want that.)

Maybe we're locked into simply knowing the danger 1J drivers pose to the world, and me doing my level best to educate, inform, and warn my neighbors and listeners.

I'm just sayin'...