Gay Marriage, again.

Normally I can't keep my mind on one thing for more than about three miliseconds, so I'm stumped why my thoughts have fixated on the problems with gay marriage since California's high court recognized that the Golden State is governed by the people.

I've been asked numerous times by liberal friends and enemies how two gay people tying the knot threatens my marriage.

I'm married, it's true. And it's also true that if Bob and Steve want to get hitched, my relationship with Esther remains largely unaffected. (She still wears the pants and runs the show, no matter what, if I know what's good for me.)

But, back to the thought-provoking question. Before I answer I want to point out a couple of things. First, the question assumes that I've asserted gay marriage will harm my marriage. And I haven't. (I'll explain in a bit). The second is that the question itself is illustrative of the narcissistic nature of society today.

Not once have I ever said or implied that if Bob and Steve get all fancied up, go to a preacher, exchange vows and kisses, and make a matrimonial life together, that my marriage would be ruined, or lessened, or depleted. Simply stated, it wouldn't. The covenants and vows I've made with God and Esther are in place regardless of changes in societal norms.

There are a lot of things that don't affect my relationship with my wife. Some examples include high gas prices, litter along the roadside, cigarettes, cancer, the AMC Pacer, and genocide. Just as these things have nothing to do with my marriage, gay matrimony occurs independent of my personal relationships.

I'm opposed to gay marriage -- not because of its effect on me -- because of the unknown effect on future generations of human beings. My thoughts on the relationship between family and society are not based on theory or concocted ideas. They're based on a strong religious belief I hold, that God has a plan for mankind, and that marriage is simply a first step to creating safe passage for the next generation, as part of that plan.

Marriage isn't the destination. It's the vehicle.

Marriage isn't about two people in love. It's about creating a stable environment for children.

Let's hypothetically tweak God's plan for a minute. Let's say that kids didn't happen because of romantic affection. Let's say that they didn't need parenting. They just sort of walk out of the woods and they already know how to eat and care for themselves. Relationships would develop, but there would be no mom and dad, or child. Just "other people".

Think through this, for a moment. Let's say the concept of "Mom and Dad" simply vanishes. There are no aunts and uncles, because those relationships pass through parents. And if there are no aunts and uncles, there are certainly no cousins. If there's no "mom and dad" then there are no siblings, because - by definition - siblings are relatives with common parents. There's no grandma and grandpa for the same reason. In fact, ALL of our true familial relationships exist because of our biological parentage.

I certainly understand that there are exceptions. Spouses die. Some get divorced involuntarily. Others are not able to have children. But a general pattern exists: man and woman are joined and they bring forth children.

Am I too far out there to make the case that nature's template -- the fact that we can concieve, bear, and rear children -- forced the necessity of an elevated level of commitment between the parents charged with nurturing those souls -- not so the parents could feel good and warm and fuzzy, but so their progeny would have the best chance at a happy and balanced life?

I don't think my wife likes this argument because it sort of points out that romantic love is a trick. It's God's way of tricking us into doing the right thing: having kids and staying together. I have to admit, it's a pretty awesome trick, but a trick nonetheless.

Those who see marriage simply as some kind of personal right, don't fully appreciate the broad implications marriage has on the future of humanity. Marriage will never successfully be a narcissistic assertion of personal liberty, because that contradicts the very nature of marriage, which requires a great deal of selflessness and sacrifice.